so happy but fearful all at once

5am sounds

 i'm disgusting, my thoughts are terrible.
i've a serious trust issue and i wonder why

isit because i've been let down so many times? be it friends or lovers.
or maybe i can't trust myself?
no, this time i can

the sudden change, made me a tad fearful
isn't it a good thing gen?
i'm thrown off balance

can i trust you?
've to ask you next time